Me. I lovingly say soothing words with matching hugs and kisses when I wake the two younger children around 5am during school days. Twenty minutes after that, I yell at them “Baka dumating na ang service hindi pa kayo tapos, hindi pa nakakain ng breakfast. Dalian nyo na! Blah…blah…blah…” in the effort to hurry them up because they haven’t eaten breakfast yet and the school service is already waiting at the gate. Yes, I have done this, at 5:30am. Tsk.
BJ, a teenager. “I hate it when my mom yells. She makes me feel like I’m stupid. The more she yells, the more I want to do what she doesn’t want me to do. Talking to me and not yelling is better because the more she yells, the more I shut down my brain and stop listening to her.”
HK, a pre-teen. “Natatakot ako pag sumisigaw si Mama ko. Parang lagi na lang mali ang ginagawa ko. Baka sa galit niya pag sumisigaw siya, masaktan niya ako.”
YA, office worker. “Our boss is a yeller. He loses his temper quickly and does not hesitate to yell at anyone of us if we make a mistake. Sana kung ginagawa niya yun in private, eh hindi, sa harap pa ng mga officemates namin. We are not happy in the office anymore. We are thinking of a mass resignation, para matauhan siya.”

Why yell when you can perfectly say your piece in peace?

We have yelled for a thousand different reasons but first and foremost of these reasons would be because we want to assert that, yes, we are right and that the other person is wrong.

We yell because we want to prove a point and get our message across.
We yell because we want to be heard.
We yell because we feel superior to the one we are yelling at.
We yell because we are in a hurry and the others are slowing us down.
Why, we even yell virtually when we use ALL CAPS and end these with a lot of !!!!!
Sometimes we yell just because …

On the other hand, have you ever been yelled at?

Not cool.

Do you remember the last time you were yelled at?

We would want to forget yes, but the scene seems to keep playing in our head.

Mothers who yell.

A certain mom thinks her son is studying online but all the while he is visiting sites to see what he can buy at the online guitar store. 

Habitual yelling.

Yelling when one can perfectly speak well.

Alternatives to yelling.

Don’t we just want to know what yellers can do otherwise?

Breaking the yelling cycle is not easy.


Read more here: Are You a Yeller? How to Break the Yelling Habit.

Posted by julie @ 10:45 am
Shelved under Information, Me

One of the things that was done when my parents had the home renovation was to have new cabinets in the kitchen. Some of the inspiration for the design were from

I am happy that there are sites like these where we can browse online the things we need, without leaving the comforts of our home. Order what we need and even track the shipping of the products ordered because we just need to know due to excitement at receiving the goods.

I wish local manufacturers will follow suit. And may I suggest supermarkets to do the same too, allow their customers to order online and have these groceries delivered at home.

Posted by julie @ 10:16 am
Shelved under Lessons in Life, Me, My Thoughts

Today marks the end of the Christmas holidays and most everyone I know are back to school or back to work, gruelling or otherwise.

Do you have a 2014 resolution to do better, bigger and more improved things? If you do, then here is an excerpt from an article I wrote and published on “How to Plan to be a Better You in 2014”

“Nothing in life matters quite as much as you think it does while you are thinking about it.”~ Kahneman and Thaler

How was the year 2013 for you? How would you honestly answer the following questions that may help you assess how you performed?

·         Did you reach the goals you have set for 2013? What were your considered wins and losses?

·         Did you spend enough time to bond with your family and loved ones? Did you spend time for yourself?

·         What are you grateful for during 2013? What made you happy? What gave you fulfilment?

·         Can you think of three words that best capture the essence of 2013?

·         What was the biggest improvement in your life this year? The best memory?

·         What were the obstacles you overcame and how did you overcome these?

·         What activities do you think you should drop because these are time wasters and make more time for?

·         What regrets, if any, did you have?

·         What life lessons have you learned that will help you for 2014?

Below are just a few simple suggestions on how to best reflect on what has happened in the past year to help you focus for 2014:

Set realistic goals. Goal setting is the first thing you need to do to be able to focus on how you will face 2014. By doing task analysis, you can break complex tasks into a sequence of smaller steps and actions with the completion of the complex goal as an end task.  You must also remember to set attainable, measurable and timely goals that will make you feel successful. This way, you are able to manage your time, resources and pace and not feel stressed.  If you plan to lose weight, for example, set a goal to lose a pound or two per week and not 50 pounds for the whole year.

Celebrate your life’s little successes. Through realistic goals, you get to savor life’s little successes which make you feel accomplished thereby setting the pace to up the challenge. It doesn’t hurt to “pat yourself on the back” and congratulate yourself for a job well done, even if these are just little steps towards the big goal. Measuring life in leaps and bounds is overwhelming when you tend to overlook the little steps it took to be where you are right now.

Disconnect to connect. Instead of holding your mobile gadget, hold your loved one’s hand. Instead of communicating with your loved ones virtually, set up a coffee date and put your turned off mobile gadget in your bag so that you can do a heart-to-heart talk.

Visualize or write down notes. Ever heard of the vision board? It is a board where you cut and paste photos of your goals (like a dream vacation destination, a new house, a new you!) on a board that serves as a reminder of how far along you are toward the end line. If you are inclined to be more private and would rather keep these goals to yourself, writing on a journal helps a lot in tracking what has already been accomplished.

Slow down. Take time to smell the flowers, so to speak. Slowing down allows you to reflect and ponder on where you are with your goals and what changes, if any, would help you along the way.

Choose happiness. Be happy and celebrate life’s little successes. This can be done not by buying for yourself a little token but by feeling good about yourself, helping others along the way, smiling more often, counting your blessings and just being positive. If you encounter pain and disappointments along the way, choose to be strong and know that the pain, struggle and disappointment will soon pass by.

Be grateful. For everything, be grateful. If you feel today is the worst day in your life, find something to be grateful for and if you do so, then know that everything will turn out well.


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