Me. I lovingly say soothing words with matching hugs and kisses when I wake the two younger children around 5am during school days. Twenty minutes after that, I yell at them “Baka dumating na ang service hindi pa kayo tapos, hindi pa nakakain ng breakfast. Dalian nyo na! Blah…blah…blah…” in the effort to hurry them up because they haven’t eaten breakfast yet and the school service is already waiting at the gate. Yes, I have done this, at 5:30am. Tsk.
BJ, a teenager. “I hate it when my mom yells. She makes me feel like I’m stupid. The more she yells, the more I want to do what she doesn’t want me to do. Talking to me and not yelling is better because the more she yells, the more I shut down my brain and stop listening to her.”
HK, a pre-teen. “Natatakot ako pag sumisigaw si Mama ko. Parang lagi na lang mali ang ginagawa ko. Baka sa galit niya pag sumisigaw siya, masaktan niya ako.”
YA, office worker. “Our boss is a yeller. He loses his temper quickly and does not hesitate to yell at anyone of us if we make a mistake. Sana kung ginagawa niya yun in private, eh hindi, sa harap pa ng mga officemates namin. We are not happy in the office anymore. We are thinking of a mass resignation, para matauhan siya.”

Why yell when you can perfectly say your piece in peace?

We have yelled for a thousand different reasons but first and foremost of these reasons would be because we want to assert that, yes, we are right and that the other person is wrong.

We yell because we want to prove a point and get our message across.
We yell because we want to be heard.
We yell because we feel superior to the one we are yelling at.
We yell because we are in a hurry and the others are slowing us down.
Why, we even yell virtually when we use ALL CAPS and end these with a lot of !!!!!
Sometimes we yell just because …

On the other hand, have you ever been yelled at?

Not cool.

Do you remember the last time you were yelled at?

We would want to forget yes, but the scene seems to keep playing in our head.

Mothers who yell.

A certain mom thinks her son is studying online but all the while he is visiting sites to see what he can buy at the online guitar store. 

Habitual yelling.

Yelling when one can perfectly speak well.

Alternatives to yelling.

Don’t we just want to know what yellers can do otherwise?

Breaking the yelling cycle is not easy.

HOW?

Read more here: Are You a Yeller? How to Break the Yelling Habit.

 We Filipinos are known to survive the odds we face on a day to day basis. From one of the worst rainy season experience that has occurred called Ondoy, the benchmark of all flooding to come, to Habagat flooding, (to which one refers to depends on the year it happened), earthquakes, mine spills, volcanic eruptions, the recent notable weather disturbance called Mario, are just some of the things we have to deal with from time to time. Put in traffic for those who live in the NCR and we see tired and stressed out people.

In all these weather disturbances and natural calamities (and traffic woes), it is imperative that we are always prepared to face the challenges that will come.

These calamities have brought the best (and of course the worst but I will not dwell in this negativity) in us Filipinos. We say that the Filipino spirit is indomitable and that we show the world how we survive these calamities and how we have not just strengthened our solidarity as Filipinos but how we found compassion and will to serve those who are in need.

In serving others who are in need, we do not do so half-heartedly. We serve with excellence and compassion, in Filipino, husay at malasakit. We show husay at malasakit not only to our family and friends but to those who need help.

When I saw Unilab’s new TVC, it deeply touched my heart to see how the company’s thrust on husay at malasakit hopes to influence not just their viewership but those who have the capacity, time, resources and the willingness in their hearts and spirits to help our country.

Being a mother makes me a partner with my husband as the primary giver of love and care to our family. Just like Unilab, the country’s biggest pharmaceutical company, we also believe in the power of husay and malasakit in rearing our children.

Having been privileged to be able to visit Unilab’s facilities twice, I have seen how technological advances has been incorporated in how they manufacture the supplements a lot of us purchase whether as nutritional supplements or as aid in our physical ailments. To better take care of the Filipinos better, the facilities and procedures are given the utmost safety precautions to make sure that the products are safe and adhere to high quality standards.

Having skin care products from Unilab shows how much technological advances and innovations they have achieved. Unilab also promotes having an active life which makes people healthier. The manufacture of their healthcare products is what will always be the company’s “heart” with the health and safety of the Filipinos at the core.

There are affordable and superior quality healthcare products for those with limited resources assure them that they can still have safe and high quality products. These Unilab products are distributed across the country, from Luzon, Visayas to Mindanao.

Unilab believes in the spirit of genuine concern to make lives better with its husay and malasakit thrust.

As a mom, I believe in companies that show concern and whose products adhere to high quality standards but not too expensive, because this is the way I raise my family: for the children to be the best they can be, to have our needs met using products with high quality standards but without compromising our financial capabilities and to have happy and healthy lives.

As a mom, I believe in Unilab’s husay at malasakit campaign because I am a consumer who buys their products.

Many people remembered Ondoy when Mario came.

No, these are not people’s names but names of weather disturbances that wreaked havoc to the country’s National Capital Region and its suburbs.

Ondoy deluge happened five years ago, on September 26, 2009.

I wrote a post about our experience during Ondoy in this post.

A week after Ondoy ravaged mega Manila, Pepeng did so much damage to the northern part of the country.

Last week, another big weather disturbance wrecked havoc to the same area that Ondoy ravaged. His name is Mario.

In this article I wrote, I asked three people to recount their experience during the two deluges:

Remembering Ondoy

*Louie’s son *Clay spent the night at his Lola’s  home in Marikina. Lola’s home is a two-storey house near the Tumana River. During Ondoy, he slept on the roof together with his Lola and Yaya  while his dad, Louie (and their dogs) slept on the roof of his SUV at their house in Cainta.

*Faye, who just gave birth to her second child, a daughter, spent their time on the second floor of their home with her husband, her son and his nanny during the onslaught of Ondoy. When the rains let up, they walked on top of fences to go to a higher place and seek refuge. They spent a few months at Faye’s family home in Rizal while their home was being repaired after cleaning up was done.

*Anne recalls Ondoy vividly as if it happened yesterday:

“Ondoy brought ceiling-high flood waters into our home, causing us to take refuge in a neighbor’s house opposite ours. The flood rose so quickly, we fled with only the clothes on our back, our wallets which could not buy us any food, and our mobile phones which soon either ran out of load or battery juice.

“We took turns sleeping in a room provided for us by the kind neighbor or looking out the window watching the water gobble up our house — roof and all — in a matter of an hour and later recede inch by painful inch over the following two days and two nights. We were hungry, wet and dirty; worried over our two girls who were stranded in Quezon City; and anxious over our dogs whom we left behind.”

The Mario experience.

Louie and Clay did not have to experience the recent floods that ravaged Cainta because they left the place soon after Ondoy to live someplace else that is flood-free.

Anne and her family also put up their stuff on the second floor of their homes. After Mario left, she woke up to an organized home, thankful the waters stopped short of their gate and for extra hands that moved furniture and stuff back where they belong.

Faye and family were as fortunate. The flood only threatened but didn’t quite enter their house. However, they now have to move their stuff back to the first floor. Hard work, she says, but still a breeze, compared to what they went through during Ondoy.

Lessons from Ondoy… read the complete article here at the Philippine Online Chronicles.

Please don’t get me wrong, I am not judging how the kids these days behave. This article will merely point out the things we do, in my opinion as a parent and as a teacher, that may hinder the way our children grow up the way we want them to. This will not try to compare one generation to the other in terms of which is better and will not indict “bad” parents and extol “good” ones.

Having said that, let me just write down my thoughts and those of some other adults I know when the topic “Kids these days” come up.

Kids these days need to look up and look around more. You don’t need statistics or testimonials to know that most of today’s young people have their heads down on the glaring and moving graphics of their electronic gadgets. Sometimes it makes us wonder if they know what is going on around them at all.

Kids these days are easily bored. Whether waiting for their turn at the doctor’s clinic, waiting for the food orders to arrive or waiting for the school service to come pick them up, they are bored. Parents see to it that they manage their time wisely by providing them with things that will entertain them: electronic gadgets.

Kids these days rely heavily and put emphasis on fast: Fast food and fast internet connection among others. Delayed gratification is something they need to learn because the truth is the truly good things in life are earned the long and hard way, with much patience and perseverance.

Kids these days are emotionally involved because of the technological advances including how fast and how graphically the news are delivered. Should children know in detail things that are happening elsewhere whereas they know nothing about what is happening in their own immediate environment? Should they be exposed to the violence happening around the world without understanding the impact of these things in their lives? Should we allow our children to read and watch things beyond their understanding?

Kids these days should learn how to form, think of and write their own opinions and not rely on what they read online. Everything is available in the internet. At the click of a button or a tap of a finger, they are able to copy and paste research work painstakingly done by others without reading and understanding the contents, oftentimes without acknowledging the author. There are a lot of cases too where they just copy and paste unverified work without checking other sources.

Kids these days want to work with computers. Nothing wrong with setting the mind to work using computers in the future. The question is, are there children who would want to work in the agricultural and fisheries sector, the human aspects of running a business, the face-to-face management or utilization of the hands and creativity in work-related tasks?

Kids these days feel empowered because they know they can get what they want easily. Parents feel they have to give the best to their children, beyond what they need. They do not want to see their children having less than their peers, as though this would make their children mediocre or deprived.

Kids these days feel entitled, that is, that that the world owes them what they want and when they want it. This sense of entitlement can prove to be a fatal disappointment when things don’t go the way the children expect. At this point, even when the children have grown to be adults, they will be having difficulties dealing with rejection, being denied the things they want to have and do because of the realization that they need to work hard and wait for the results.

Kids these days feel that they can handle all the challenges thrown at them because Mom and/or Dad are there for them at all times. We cannot always “clear the path” and face the adversities for the children to merrily make their way to their goals (which more often the parents have set and not the children themselves).

Kids these days are so dependent on the yaya to do simple tasks for them like getting them a drink of water, carrying their lunch boxes or even getting their clothes from the cabinet.

Parents should think about the long-term effects of their parenting style. Parents should guide the children to make their own decisions and choose what steps they should take to realize their dreams. Remember that you parents can’t be with them 24/7. There are a lot of life lessons and life-changing decisions that children have to make on their own in due time but if they know what to do and have been guided properly, then there is not much to fear. Parents should not be in competition with other parents or families because all children are unique in their own way.

How should we deal with the kids then?

READ MORE HERE.

I wrote about having DMIT or Dermatoglyph Multiple Intelligence Test in this article. The article below shows the DMIT result and some discussion on how the DMIT has been an eye-opener not just for my daughter’s Multiple Intelligences but for mine as well.

Read on…

Being a mother (with that bonus training of being a [special education] teacher), it is my utmost hope that I, together with my husband’s support, am able to give to my children the best in terms of learning experiences, education and the proper way of parenting for them to be able to develop their full potential.

As I have previously written in this post, both my youngest daughter and I experienced going through DMIT or Dermatoglyph Multiple Intelligence Test to determine primarily both our strengths and weaknesses when it comes to the 16 different multiple intelligences.

After a few days, we got our results. One of the first things I remember being told was that my youngest daughter and I are alike in many ways “Nagmana siya sa iyo.

I made some notes in my small notebook based on the table below comparing our multiple intelligences results indicating where we are both

(1) predominant and advantageous intelligence
(2) has a potential to further mould or develop
(3) intelligences that need to be strengthened

1-DMIT Report2-001

Below are some discussions done during the explanation of the results and some anecdotes I have reflected upon based on the findings:

Creation and Imagination:

The daughter and I were both surprised she (and I too) had Creation and Imagination as the intelligence where we are both “weak” and that this area of learning needs to be acquired and develop.

I reckon I am creative and imaginative enough because I have to be, I need to be, in my line of work, otherwise the children I teach won’t be able to sustain their attention with the tasks I give them, some for an hour while the others for two hours, depending on how many hours our learning schedule runs.

My fingerprint scan shows these skills need to be developed further and although I feel I have acquired enough creation and imagination skills to be able to come up with activities and experiences to answer the learning needs of the children under my tutelage. There are still however so many new learning experiences on creation and imagination to be explored not just for teaching my students and my children, but for me as well for me to further acquire and develop.

In the case of my daughter, in our opinion, she is quite a creative and imaginative child, making her own storybooks and characters even when she was only 5yo then. Thinking back on how she was able to process these creative works, it dawned on me that she does not always create her own design but would just improve on or work on design ideas she sees in books or in images.

Encouraging her to think of more novel ideas she herself has thought of for her to be able to work on should be a main goal for us. Who knows, she might even invent something that will make a lot of people happy.

Language Expression:

It was a surprise to note that the daughter’s Language Expression is a predominant trait knowing that she at times pauses mid-sentence to think and be able to say the right words she needed to say. Those pauses sometimes make those she is conversing with impatient for her to say the right word. There are however instances when she “hits the right spot” like the other night when she said to me, “Nay, R-13 ang movie” and true enough, she wasn’t able to go with us to that particular movie. We would have cancelled watching if not for my son and his friends who saw our dilemma and the friendly movie usher who looked for a vacant seat for her at the cinema beside us. She was able to watch her movie of choice with her brother and his friends (with a chaperone mom).

Activities and experiences to enhance this strength of her should be encouraged for my daughter to be able to develop this part of her multiple intelligences which would help her be able to express herself in less words than necessary to get her message across.

As for me, I have always been labelled as “frank” because there are times when I don’t mince words to be able to say what needs to be said.

Music Appreciation:

For Music Appreciation, we both got the result of “has a potential to further mould or develop”.
As a child I went through a few years of piano lessons, first with a family friend and the other was with a religious teacher from our school. We even did a few recitals and I remember playing Romeo and Juliet’s “A Time for Us” as one of the piano musical piece I played before my schoolmates and our parents. I played the xylophone for 6 years in the school marching band. These “musical talents” of mine were not further developed because I got busy with other extra-curricular activities in school.

For my daughter, she was able to play the recorder back during our homeschooling days when she was around 4yo. We would scour videos or she herself would look for “how to play the flute” or “flute tutorial” videos and learn from these. For the past two years or so, she has shifted to guitar playing, using the same method she learned while playing the flute. On both counts, she taught herself how to play both instruments without having formal lessons. On both counts, we have encouraged her to develop this musical skill.

This musical talent of hers has been enhanced in school during specific music lessons on guitar. She has also performed in front of an audience in school. If developed further, I know she can do even more with this particular talent of hers.

Kinesthetic Intelligence
:

For my daughter’s Kinesthetic Intelligence, it was deduced from the result that when she was younger, she had better than average fine-motor skills, which was true. I could probably not remember the things that make that true but I do remember that tapes, pencils, paints, papers, crayons and scissors are things that she loves to use, then and now. She is never without anything to do, playing the guitar, doing artwork, making digital artwork or making a parkour park for her Tech Deck toys using cereal boxes and several rolls of tapes. It was also explained that nowadays she is more into gross-motor activities and if I may say so, that is correct because since last year, she has been training with the school’s elementary basketball team.

As for me, the result shows I am not the type to run long distances. Till two years ago, I used to join (3k and 5k) runs whenever possible, do nature walks during out of town trips or have morning walks in the neighbourhood during mornings. Because of schedule conflicts, I have stopped though still has plans to begin again. I like walking and in fact, I walk faster than other people. Perhaps this is a challenge for me to get up more and be involved in activities that will help me get fit as I add up the age and the pounds.

At the same time, this particular intelligence has my fine-motor skills finely tuned. I love doing crafts like scrapbooking and paper crafts so I might as well develop these crafting skills further not just to fill idle time but to enhance my creation and imagination as well.

Career Planning recommendations:

The results for the DMIT also has career planning recommendations which is good to use for when it’s my youngest daughter‘s turn to choose a degree for college that will further motivate and enhance whatever skills and talents she has for her to be able to develop her full potential.

My thoughts on DMIT:

DMIT is a good tool to use to see how the multiple intelligences guide us parents play a role in helping our children develop their potentials by focusing on the both the predominant and not-so-predominant intelligences.

The results made me more aware on how to deal with my youngest daughter’s learning style, strengths and weaknesses.

It also made me check on our parenting style with her if the values we give importance to are also the values she must learn to be able for her to be the best she can be.

The results also showed that she needs more hugs and kisses as motivation and rewards than material things that can be purchased.

For parents who are unsure of how to deal with their children’s learning styles due to various reasons, this is a good evaluation of their child’s multiple intelligences. DMIT will be a big help for parents to help their children find their own “place under the sun”.

For career persons as well as couples, this is also a god tool to further develop the self and the relationship to live better lives.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For information on Dermatoglyph Multiple Intelligent Test, contact Encycligent Marketing Services

Website: http://www.encycligent.com

Landline: (+632) 579-1170 or 775-7072

Mobile: +639178699418 +639189799224

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/encycligent

For this family, it’s that time of the year for…

  • summer vacation ( we are officially on a summer break but the children are sick so we might get to enjoy the break in May…sigh)
  • putting away, discarding, saving the stuff from the just concluded school year
  • going over the good (and the bad) from the school year
  • interpreting the “grades”
  • “promising” to do better for the next school year by working more on the weak points
  • rewards for good grades which translates to getting higher marks than the previous trimester, or depends on set expectations for final grades (they don’t get big things, only small rewards)

I remember telling my eldest daughter when she was in the elementary grades (and now my two younger children) that I am more concerned that she gets good marks with the citizenship details in her card.

Of course, I tell them, the grades they get do not necessarily reflect who they are. The grades they get reflect the hard work, dedication, persistence and how much they worked hard to understand the concepts and ideas being taught to them but that is not who they are as a whole. The grades are but one aspect of their school life.

Yes, whether we like it or not, these good high grades will open doors of opportunities for students like scholarships. It also gives them a sense of accomplishment especially when they are recognized with these marks. For me though, academic grades should not just be the gauge on students as being”better than other students” because everyone has his/her abilities that should be enhanced and cultivated.

The Citizenship evaluation in the children’s report card, on the other hand, is more important for me because these are the “grades” or evaluation that their all their teachers give as a gauge on how they are seen as…

  • someone who can be trusted,
  • someone who is responsible,
  • someone who shows respect,
  • someone who shows (or not) leadership abilities,
  • someone who is concerned with deadlines, homework, projects, etc
  • someone who cleans up after her/his own mess,
  • someone who participates in school activities and discussions,
  • someone who listens attentively,
  • someone who accepts responsibilities for his/her own action,
  • someone who observes rules and regulations,
  • someone who respects the rights of others

Does your child’s school have these in the report cards?

Or do you just get the numerical equivalent of their grades in academic and non-academic subjects where behavior is given an equivalent number or letter? A B or B+ or 92 for behavior?

Do you think behavior can be measured with a number? Why is it that we put value in numbers and letters and not appreciate the hard work that went with it, no matter what the grade equivalent? 

Does it matter if a child gets the highest academic grades but is disrespectful of other people or does not accept responsibility for his/her mistakes?

As parents, we should focus more on seeing a happy, respectful, responsible and hardworking child who is stress-free and not pressured to deliver when his limits have been reached. We should focus more on a learning that is not memorized, a learning that can be used outside the classroom, either as something to help one deal with the immediate environment and other people or as something to help make one a better person.

And FYI, in my children’s school, all graduating students get awards in their own respective fields outside the academics.

« Previous -- Next »