Do you consistently peek at what your child(ren) are up and about?

Do you feel you have to be there for them?

Do you have to tell them reminders that they already know?

Do you make a fuss over everything and the more you do, the more you feel your child(ren) is resenting your fussing?

Do you have to notice every facial expression, every sigh, every twitch, everything your child(ren) makes?

If the answer is “YES” or “ALWAYS” or “OF COURSE”, then you are a hovering parent.

Nothing wrong there except of course, you have to consider the age of your child. If you hover too much on your pre-teen child(ren), tweens and teeners, chances are, they will resent you moving too close for them to spread out their wings so to speak, and see if they can do things independently.

In fact, isn’t it that toddlers resent being given help and they would yell when they are not allowed to have their own way at times?

To hover during college times is a bit too much although there are situations when these are welcome, especially to those who need proper guidance. Who would properly guide these child(ren) if not their parents who have “been there and done that”? But, parents need to know when they are needed and when they are getting too close for comfort.

Click here to read about how they feel.

Oh, one more thing, hover over them too much and they will hang on to your apron strings too long even if they should have been functioning independently.

Lesson to be learned? Teach them independence and as much possible, take care not to foster helplessness and dependence.

Note to self: i should learn to do this

This entry was posted on Friday, July 3rd, 2009 at 1:35 pm and is filed under Bits and Pieces, Lessons in Life, My Thoughts, Parenting, home management. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.