one time when money was a bit tight, one of my daughters wanted to buy new clothes. I didn’t think it was a priority since she still had clothes so I said NO. She made “tampo”. I said “okay, I can use my credit card to buy them but next month I will be in debt because I have no money to pay it”.

She stopped whining.

Kids need to know that we have budget to follow. They see we might have some cash but I explain that they are spent to priority items first then “want-to-own” items are last in the list. They usually understand

My father spent almost 20 years of his life abroad. But me and my brother did not take advantage of the situation. If we wanted something personal and beyond the budget, we have to work hard for it i.e. save from our school pocket money. I guess it worked for us. For me especially. I learned to prioritize things especially during financial constraints. And that’s what I want to teach my daughter as early as possible, that she should not take advantage just because Dada is away. I also explain my husband that quality time is the most important. He’s miles away. Yet, toys and luxuries can’t replace anything. Instead of buying an expensive doll that she still could not appreciate much, why not spend that money, get a call card, call her and talk to her.

I’m glad…. we’re on the right track…. I guess…

Sorry my comment is as good as an entry, carried away heehee!

noemi’s tip is a good one. i also give a similar talk to my son, like if we buy that transformer we might not be able to get the more important stuff like food. i’m glad he eventually understands.

I’ve seen a lot of parental guilt assuaged with material things, as if a parent’s absence can be made up for by money. I find this happens most often in middle to high-income families who tend to measure life by the amount of material things they’ve accrued over their lifetimes. Unfortunately, a PSP or a cellphone or even loads of money can’t hug back or kiss a child’s tears away. They may satiate temporary longing but in the end, the child still feels his or her loss keenly.

Parents have a responsibility to make their children know the priorities of life. That both parents have to work to make ends meet is hard enough for parents and their children, without all the added guilt. But times are hard and it’s always better we educate them early that money does not equate with happiness. I commend all these parents who commented before me for the values they are able to impart early on in life. Wish there were more like them around…

You are right, a lot of the things that you mentioned are not suited for kids that age. Most of my american nephews and nieces (my husband’s side) get their gizmos and gadgets by working (like babysitting) and saving for it. I think they will get to appreciate the value of money more that way. I hope to impart the same lessons to my son.

love this post. very very timely.

you are so right T.Julie. we work hard for the kids but that doesn’t mean compensating them with material things are enough to gauge we’re good parents. mas magandang isipin that we make sure to spend both quantity and quality time with them din.

Noemi, they usually understand, yes, especially if they have not been given whatever they want starting when they were still starting to understand about things.

Its hard when they have been used to having what they want and then experience rejection later on. That would be doubly hard.

Thanks for the visit

OK lang yun, Mitch, re your comment. I love reading and learning about how other parents like me deal with these issues.

Its good that you ask your hubby to just get a call card rather than buy her toys. Its different when the parents are physically present than when they are not. Children might think differently that these things can be used to replace a parent’s words of love or a hug and a kiss.

Thanks for sharing about your family.

hay, Cess, that is my spiel too. I am just glad that the children prefers staying at home during weekends, even if at times, nagkakapikunan sila at nagagalit kami ni hubby,more than going out because they know the implications if we do go out: expenses.

Precisely my point. Even my homeschooling children know about rewards. They can play their favorite pc games once they finish all tasks with good results. No questions asked. PC games lang, we don’t even have a gaming gadget.

You’re right, a new gadget can’t kiss the hurt away. We are living in a materialistic world why would we still add to it by making our children have their share of this greed.

Yes, that is right, Geri, a lot of young Americans are able to buy stuff they like because they earned money for the stuff like baby sitting and mowing lawns or even walking dogs.

We don’t have that culture. Maybe if a family has a business to run and children are encouraged to work there and earn.

I know you would be able to do the same thing for Evan some day.

Yes to everything you said, Feng.

I don’t know, sometimes I think, baka ako ang guilty one because I am not able to buy my children these things that others have and they don’t. But then again, it won’t make me a better parent if I did, so, wag na lang

I love this post. It really hits the spot.

My kids have also learned to ask. But we have made it very clear with them that just because they ask doesn’t mean they will receive. They know that there are only certain occasions when they can receive and they will just have to wait. It works all the time

So true, Cookie.

Yung iba kasi, its like a birth right that they get whatever they like to have without so much lifting a finger to show that they deserve to be given what they want.

Limits should also be set for if not, dala-dala nila ang ganitong behavior when they grow older.

Thanks

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