Whether we like it or not, school violence is bound to happen. There’s physical bullying and mental bullying. There is a saying that goes something like “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” I do not believe so. For me, words have more serious effects or even equal effects than cuts and bruises. Words stay in the minds. Words reverberate and are heard clearly deep in the night, causing nightmares and broken dreams.
Does this bullying happen here in our country? It does. It happens within the seemingly secure walls of the classroom. It may be as bloody and as dangerous as Billy who is always being bullied by his schoolmates It may be too smoothly done to be noticed but it does happen, especially to children who are vulnerable, who look vulnerable and easy to pick on.
Who are these children? Those who are smart. Those who are shorter than the bullies. Those who are overweight or underweight. Those with learning problems. Those who go to school wearing unkempt uniforms. Those who are not financially as capable as others. Bullies can spot and smell their prey even a mile away, it seems.
My students who have learning and behavior problems are bullies’ dream prey. The bullies just love to pick on them. Here are some instances:
- JR’s lunch money is being taken from him almost every single day. He goes to a Catholic all-boys school where his two older brothers went to, and these two older brothers attended its University for college. JR transferred schools after the bullying. When JR transferred, he became the bully. He has learning disabilities. Next school year he will begin college,
omg.
- BB also went to an all-boys Catholic school. He was kicked out when he got in fights with those who bully him. How did they bully him? By hurting him, making him watch X-rated films (bullies are his neighbors) and telling lies to the teachers. He transferred schools and was unfortunate to be in a school where JR was enrolled and they crossed paths. JR bullies BB. JR told me he doesn’t like BB because he is smart and he is proud about it. BB has ADHD. And yes, he is smart. He was our student before at age 4 and he has memorized parts of the Periodic table of Elements. He was referred back to me when he was in 5th grade but stopped intervention when he was high school sophomore.
- RC has ADHD and is under medication. He had been a student since he was 5 till he was 13. He has stopped going for intervention last year. He has switched schools several times. He is now a sophomore in HS. In his class, he is the bully, getting money from those who are more likely will fall into his plans. One of his victims was my former student in preschool. Outside the class, he is being bullied, being called insulting names. I even know what he has been called, how often it happened and how he felt about it. How? RC told me. One of the bullies told me. Say that again. One of those bullying RC told me. Who is this? Those who are bullying him is JR and his gang. Yes, all three go to the same school. Darn.
There are subtle ways to know that there is trouble with your children. See what your answer are to these few questions:
- Does your child always losses his things? Pencils, crayons, pad papers, lunch money, food, special knick-knacks he brought to school.
- Does he talk about his friends? Or not?
- Does he show confidence in himself at home? In school? With other friends?
- Does he suddenly get too sick to go to school and would rather stay at home?
These things to look out for don’t always happen to every child. As parents, we should feel the difference, slight this may be, in behavior changes in our children.