Posted by teacherjulie @ 10:45 am

I got an sms from my brother Ricky just as I was reading a link from Noemi a few minutes ago. They both have the same message written in different forms: an sms and a blog entry.

What was the message all about? It is about Mariannet Amper who committed suicide a few days ago. She was only 12 years old. This hit me hard because i have a 12-year old daughter too. The sms I got from Ricky calls for a prayer for her soul and a prayer that this kind of incident will never happen again. Is this even remotely possible?
What was the blog entry all about? This talked about the circumstances surrounding an attempt to take one’s life and what the family can do about it.

This is devastating, as Noemi said. Yes, I replied, devastating is just one of the many words we can use to even begin to describe what the parents and relatives must be going through. I do not know this girl personally but I felt grief and pain. There is that nagging questions at the back of my head, “what if…?”

Archbishop Oscar Cruz said “We are all to blame for the poor girl’s suicide.” Are we?

Maybe we are. Even with our family, we tend to “look down” and say unpleasant things about the dirty children we see on the streets selling rags or we shoo away scruffy children who sometimes play in front of our gate. Sometimes I hear my daughter say “Tong mga squatters na to bakit dito pa naglalaro. (These squatters, why do they have to play here).” I don’t think I ever replied something that would discourage her to say these things. Maybe I even say these things and she was just repeating what I have said.

Truth is, I am confused. Maybe it is hard for me accept that children can do this to themselves.

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 8th, 2007 at 10:45 am and is filed under In the News, Lessons in Life, My Thoughts, Parenting. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

8 Nov, 2007 @ 3:59 pm
Mitch said:

My God! Sa murang age nya, naisip nyang gawin yun? :( May she rest in peace!

  • Hay, Mitch, that’s exactly what my hubby said when we heard the news. But sad to say, that probably was the only way she thought this would be best for everyone. And now everyone if scrambling to help the family. Para que? She is gone already. Hay, the irony of life.

9 Nov, 2007 @ 2:44 am
KK aka Tina said:

Oh God! That’s horrible! Grabe naman. It’s really devastating for anyone to experience this kind of tragedy in the family. You only wonder what is going on in their mind to do such a thing.

I should know because I had an uncle who did it. He had severe depression despite that fact that he had a very successful career in the semicon industry.

  • It is really very hard to imagine that children would think there is not other way out except through this. The government, everyone wanting to have a spotlight shone on them, they are now extending their help to the family.What for? For compensation for their loss? I don’t know for sure if this was even discuss among students since this is a very,very sensitive issue. Discuss by way of making them know that there are ways to get help and where to get help from. Hay, mahirap talaga ang buhay.

9 Nov, 2007 @ 6:26 am
Trina said:

Reading about Mariannet–it makes one realize without question what is truly essential in life. I am so sorry that a little girl had to do this to herself because she thought there was no choice. And to think that her family’s problem was in fact surmountable. Not insignificant, but surmountable.

  • Trina, I wrote a post about a different incident a few weeks ago. Child who chose to end her life too but this one was about family issues. I think we are putting too much pressure on the children. Even with the students, when they are supposed to be enjoying their short-lived childhood years, they are “forced” to memorize so many things, forced by peer pressure to “catch up” with what is deemed fashionable and in-style. What kind of society are we trying to have if this is the case?

9 Nov, 2007 @ 10:44 am

children are naturally resilient; i’m often amazed by the speed of how kids bounce back from injuries, catastrophes, and tragedies.

with mariannet, however, i am angry over the circumstances that overwhelmed a child’s natural resilience, leading her to take her life out of despair, and frustrated over the apathy.

and i am scared that mariannet will not be the last.

  • J-i-E, she is not going to be the last, I suppose. Not that I want this to happen again but I’m afraid this would, they way media is playing it up. Just a few weeks ago, there was another child who took her life too. She was not wanting in terms of needs but her family life was in disarray. So many things that make the children vulnerable to too much pressure. Like you, I am frustrated over the apathy. I am angry at the sudden interest of the government just so they can have their brownie points. For what? If they have done something else about these countryside poverty, such would not probably have happened. But then again, this could be wishful thinking on my part. Thanks for the visit.

9 Nov, 2007 @ 6:10 pm
Gaspar said:

I have read this sa article and was very moved. I showed this to most of my co -workers and actually thinking of setting up an organization for unfortunate Filipino Children….

I hope this story circulates well in the FIlipino Community abroad so they can help too…

  • Gaspar, I was moved to tears when I read my brother’s sms and while I was reading Noemi’s post. You see, I have a 12 year old daughter too. But then again, this doesn’t just happen to our financially poor countrymen. I don’t know how the government can say that our country is better now than before when we can see poverty around us, day in and day out. If our well-off kababayans would be able to help,that would be a good move but they should be sure that this would be managed by well-meaning people and not by those who will just pocket the help. Thank you very much.

10 Nov, 2007 @ 1:40 am
noemi said:

let’s be careful on the attention we are giving towards mariannet’s death. A lot of blog entries I see focus on the poverty situation alone. Let’s also add suicide prevention. Poverty alone did not kill her. Depression did. And teachers, educators and parents should know how to see the symptoms. I fear of cluster suicides.

television, newspaper or radio coverage of suicide (or exposure to a recent suicide or suicide attempt in the community) can serve as a trigger for vulnerable adolescents to act on suicidal thoughts and plans. This is what is termed as “cluster suicides

And with the way media is showing this news, I won’t be surprised if there is another suicide death.

  • Noemi, you know, I made some survey with my older students, asked them if they know what happened. They knew. I Asked them if this was ever discussed in school, it wasn’t. I think the school needs to follow-up this matter. And yeah, we have the same thought, this could fuel “copycats” since they saw the help given to the family. All those having pogi points does not contribute to the situation, it instead make the situation worse than it already is. Hay, mahirap talaga. Why couldn’t it be as simple as it was before, when children act as children? And now they want to exhume the body because they detect foul play?

10 Nov, 2007 @ 5:22 am
Desert Diva said:

How tragic is it for someone at twelve years of age give up on life? She must have been in great despair and pain. I hope that her life wasn’t in vain and society learns to be more compassionate toward the poverty stricken.

  • Cheryl, this touched a lot of hearts and a lot fa families. But you know what? Politicians took advantage of the situation to earn brownie points. TV networks took advantage of the situation to get high ratings. I have read somewhere that around 11 million out of 90+ million Filipinos just subsist on a dollar per day. That in itself is very, very sad.

[...] Interior of the church. The Mass was celebrated by Fr. JBoy Gonzales. It was a very enlightening mass about the recent sad event that happened to a young girl. What Fr. JBoy said in the homily would be a interesting post. I just hope I can still remember the details when I write about this. [...]

[...] not everybody can survive. As proof, the deaths that Teacher Julie posted [HERE and HERE] are indication that without the proper help, support, and understanding, some souls just cannot [...]