I try my very best to stay calm…. I’d written something like that here: http://everythingaboutdeye.blogspot.com/2007/08/dealing-with-her-temper-tantrums.html

• Good of you to try to stay calm but often times it becomes very frustrating to hold down our anger.

So happened to read this post of yours when my elder boy just returned from class & apparently had a fight with his classmate. I’m also ensure what happened but he used his book to hit his gal friend… OH NO !! I spend the next 20 mins having a good talk to him & he agreed not to behave like that again. But I think he will soon forget what he has promised me …cos when he returned home, he bullied his little brother again. What should I do?

Btw, I tagged you on this interesting & easy meme…http://janiceng.blogspot.com/2007/08/5-old-posts-one-word-meme.html

• Children will be children, sometimes no matter how we discuss these situations in simple terms, they would still “test” us on  how we can deal with them.

Although there are many clinical reasons that anger develops, often the reasons have little or nothing to do with a diagnosis. I have been an Licensed Therapist for some time now and have seen hundreds of children. My conclusion is that children exhibit anger management problems mostly because of what they see. They essentially learn dysfunctional way to handle frustration. Therefore teaching the child and his parent new skills to manage anger, improve stress management, improve communication and improve emotional intelligence are a good start to improving how children manage anger. To find an anger management provider in your area visit http://www.anger-management-resources.com

Carlos Todd, LPC, NCC, CAMF
President of the American Association of Anger Management Providers

Carlos Todd is the owner of Todd’s Anger Management Solutions in Charlotte, NC

http://www.masteringanger.com
http://www.angeronmymind.com
http://www.aaamp.org

• Thanks for the visit, Mr Todd. Managing anger is not just an effort on the child itself but it should involve the whole family. I don’t know if we have anger management providers in the Philippines, maybe occupational therapists, child psychologists and psychiatrists are the ones who can develop good programs for this.

My brothers would discipline their kids by telling them how it will affect themselves when they grow up. Syempre they make palo na di naman masakit and their Nanay would usually used her “gigil-look” because they know, later on pagagalitan talaga sila. My bestfriend in Bicol is a Professor for 3rd grade. Kapag may gumugulo, he’d go to them and say, “do you see that cross above the blackboard, if you misbehave, I’ll nail you right there”.

Just paying a visit.

• Thanks for the visit, K! Welcome!  Re the “gigil look” I know that because I do that too or I count and give the children time to settle down. Hmm…the cross-above-the-blackboard line is so familiar here in the Philippines. Funny!

i leave him alone for a while, but he knows im just around. when he’s feeling better he usually apologizes and explains why he lost his cool

• That’s great Cess. Leave the child to sort out his feelings first. No need to be at the receiving end of his anger because he will feel guilty afterwards so there’s no need to see him at his worst. And besides, its not good to be at the receiving end of his anger.

do you know a hospital or a private clinic here in philippines(quezon city to be exact) who offers anger management therapy sessions?

thanks

[...] are so many things to teach: reading, love of books, dealing with anger management and cutting classes, teaching behavior management, not keeping (bad) secrets from trusted adults, [...]